Well, it seems a really shitty time to have a broken heart, but an absurd number of my friends have just broken up or gotten divorced. There are long overdue break-ups, out of the blue announcements, and even some secret crushes whose hopes have been dashed. So many of my nearest and dearest will be having a blue christmas indeed. I had a rather shitty break up once (or twice?) around the holidays and music is always the only way to make it through. Really this is a ridiculous list and goofy post because half of all songs are break up songs anyway. Break ups demand indulgences both with food and with music, so those are included, too. (Photo of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries (sniff sniff) kissing before their ill-fated nuptials courtesy of Splash)
Top 10 Songs for Wallowing about:
1. Ryan Adams: English Girls Approximately. The last lines (You meant everything) guaranteed to make even the hardest heart go full on emo.
2. Ryan Adams: I See Monsters. The truth is I should just do a “Guide to Ryan Adams’ Break Up Songs.” The album called “Love is Hell” for pete’s sake, so clearly he has more than one song on my list. This particular song is nice a creepy one if you are feeling that way about your ex- watching them sleep and all.
3. Harlan T. Bobo: Left Your Door Unlocked: You know, he sneaks in the house they used to share together while she is out with her new fella and rolls around on the bed. Doesn’t get more depressing than that.
4. Alison Krauss and Robert Plant: Please Read The Letter. My best break up advice is to never speak again and if you must then wait three months until the emotions have settled. (My best marriage advice is marry the person you most like to make out with.) Whatever you do, don’t do what I have done twice (and naturally regretted twice): don’t write them a love letter after the fact. Unless you are Elizabeth Barrett Browning, it will be sappy and embarrassing later.
5. Lucero- Nights Like These. A rebound guy I was dating turned me on to this song. He had just broken up with a girl, oh, I dunno, the day before. This was his break up song. Needless to say, that relationship was short lived.
6. Gillian Welch- Revalator. ”Time’s the revalator” is probably the most fantastic lyric to cling to if you don’t know why something ended or if you think time will vindicate you. Neither will happen, but just in case you are feeling a glimmer of hope, this is the best gloomy hopeful song out there. I love the live version with Ryan Adams, too.
7. Old 97s- Color of a Lonely Heart is Blue: A lovely sad song. When in doubt, turn to Rhett Miller’s hair.I
8. Emmylou Harris: I Don’t Want To Talk About it Now. Buried within one of the best albums of all time is “I’d be drawn and quartered if I could keep you in my bed.” If that doesn’t work for those wallowing about, nothing much will. Also good for denial.
9. Mindy Smith: Train Song. By a twist of fate, Mindy is now a friend of mine. I was not only star struck when I met her, but also completley bashful because I’m sure at one point I rolled around and cried on the floor to this song.
10. Incubus: Wish You Were Here. Because sometimes, you just need to say how much you wish the person was still with you over and over and over. (Plus, Brandon Boyd is shirtless in the video, which might be nice for the ladies in the crowd who go for skinny, hairless, vegan types.)
Honorable Mention:
Damien Jurado: Go First: Can hardly listen to this one it just depresses me so.
Holiday Break up Bonus:
Top Five Songs for Kicking That Stinker to the Curb:
1. Fleetwood Mac- Go Your Own Way (obvi)
2. Love Don’t Live Here- Lady Antebellum (heh heh)
3. Justin Timberlake: What Goes Around Comes Around (obvi)
4. Be Your Own Pet: Take That Walk (actually a mopey song lyrically, but the attitude makes it better suited for this category.)
5. Shea Seager: Last Time (just say no!)
And when you are ready and feeling a little more snazzy:
Top Five Songs for Moving On:
1. Ryan Adams- Dance All Night (she ain’t lonely now…)
2. Bob Marley and the Wailers: Three Little Birds (duh)
3. Steve Earle- I Feel Alright (yes)
4. Kanye West: Stronger (i thought kanye was my soul mate)
and last but not least!
5. Ludacris: Money Maker (shake it)
Honerable Mentions: